youre an actress
indulging in the limelight and of all mens eyes
and you love it
your scene is special cause no women touches it
lights shine on your plastic the camera man says passion!
poised and elegant you stand on the sidewalk
waiting to satisfy the needs of pigs who idolise you
pens waving and your DVs everywhere
you are oh so immortalised
bitch i love your Ds the small waist and the hips
the way you move your body when you start arousing
its you my misery i have got no big words to substitute simple equivilent
that describes you its you i love youre porn
love is just a union of the god blessed sunny side up and blah
means absolutely nothing to your goddammit simple mind
you perfected every single move other women cant master
the strip pole front lines with soldiers waiting to pay to view
they are desparate
you are desparate
i know you miss me but i never appear at your shows
the two timing days are over but it only takes one mistake to kill it
equipped with more than enough to just make you fucking happy
enjoy your stay darling
enjoy your stay
Monday, July 30, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
I have 20cents in my pocket, and im a beggar.
The roads are always wet, people are always carrying their umbrellas around, and the sun is in slumber. This makes the mood a little more depressing. Wet seasons are the best when youre at home, but when you need or feel like hanging out, its a totally different story. The darkened skies makes 12pm look like 5pm. When its dark, you just feel like sleeping a little longer, and you dream a little bit more.
Nothing is as interesting as dreaming. In dreams, youre real. You can be anyone, and anything. All your wishes come true, and nothing can be in your way. There is no pain in dreams, no suffering, just pure happiness.
what is a want compared to a need? I want cash, I need cash. Does "want" sound better than "need". Does he word, need, makes it sound like youre more desparate? Are wants more important than needs or vice versa? What does each satisfy?
I need alot of things, and im desparate.
The roads are always wet, people are always carrying their umbrellas around, and the sun is in slumber. This makes the mood a little more depressing. Wet seasons are the best when youre at home, but when you need or feel like hanging out, its a totally different story. The darkened skies makes 12pm look like 5pm. When its dark, you just feel like sleeping a little longer, and you dream a little bit more.
Nothing is as interesting as dreaming. In dreams, youre real. You can be anyone, and anything. All your wishes come true, and nothing can be in your way. There is no pain in dreams, no suffering, just pure happiness.
what is a want compared to a need? I want cash, I need cash. Does "want" sound better than "need". Does he word, need, makes it sound like youre more desparate? Are wants more important than needs or vice versa? What does each satisfy?
I need alot of things, and im desparate.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Its inhumane how it actually revolves
when this karma hits its like a low blow
heartbreak, the way it sounds
the mental institution rejects all sound ones
nerve wrecking pieces to pieces it falls
when you cry
noone hears you
three times a day a prayer
when its later its never better
the days get older and nights are the same
eventual statement
"you're getting older"
fundamentals, the principles believe nothing
your belief struck a cord in my deepest train of thoughts
fast speed movement swings me by
and you charge on like
you remember nothing at all
when the day comes to end this
tracks dislocate and fall apart
i look at you in disdain and wonder
was it even right in the book of fate
that we met.
=) beancurd.
when this karma hits its like a low blow
heartbreak, the way it sounds
the mental institution rejects all sound ones
nerve wrecking pieces to pieces it falls
when you cry
noone hears you
three times a day a prayer
when its later its never better
the days get older and nights are the same
eventual statement
"you're getting older"
fundamentals, the principles believe nothing
your belief struck a cord in my deepest train of thoughts
fast speed movement swings me by
and you charge on like
you remember nothing at all
when the day comes to end this
tracks dislocate and fall apart
i look at you in disdain and wonder
was it even right in the book of fate
that we met.
=) beancurd.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
morals, my fucking bullshit morals. you have some? sell them.
Don't ever ask us to define our morals
Sometimes when fundamentals
Meet teenage heartbreak
Some of us are all of us
Half-selves that love whole hopes
And hari-kiri heartbreak
There's almost nothing worse
Than never being real
Strained voices crying wolf
When nobody can hear
If I had a gun
I'd pump your ethics full of lead
If I believed in meat
I'd eat a plateful of our dead
There's merit in construction
When it's done with your own hands
There's beauty in destruction
Resurrection, another chance
There's a u and i in union
But just an i in my beliefs
There's a crashing plane with a banner
That reads "everyone's naive"
The only proof that I have
That we shot and killed this horse
Is the sounds of whips on flesh
And a bleeding heart remorse
When I'm in this state of reflection
And you hand me whips and two-by-fours
I could never bring them down
And beat the same horse as before
I'd rather kill a stupid flower
And spread it's seeds aound,
until a garden with our bullet-laden morals will be found
Don't ever ask us to define our morals
Sometimes when fundamentals
Meet teenage heartbreak
Some of us are all of us
Half-selves that love whole hopes
And hari-kiri heartbreak
There's almost nothing worse
Than never being real
Strained voices crying wolf
When nobody can hear
If I had a gun
I'd pump your ethics full of lead
If I believed in meat
I'd eat a plateful of our dead
There's merit in construction
When it's done with your own hands
There's beauty in destruction
Resurrection, another chance
There's a u and i in union
But just an i in my beliefs
There's a crashing plane with a banner
That reads "everyone's naive"
The only proof that I have
That we shot and killed this horse
Is the sounds of whips on flesh
And a bleeding heart remorse
When I'm in this state of reflection
And you hand me whips and two-by-fours
I could never bring them down
And beat the same horse as before
I'd rather kill a stupid flower
And spread it's seeds aound,
until a garden with our bullet-laden morals will be found
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
spring or summer
it still feels like winter
my heart goes to slumber
never getting sober
life is great. apart from being alive, theres the sun, the clouds, the sky the stars, the moon, the green pastures, birds, animals...Nights are always peaceful, its peaceful in a way, no one is there to bother you. You can hear your fan spinning, crickets chirping, et cetera. The peace keeps you calm and prepares you for another day.
Nights are also scary. Your mind wakes up to this peace and works hard. You think, you wonder, you worry, anxiety increases and you cannot fall asleep. You wish there was more peace when you're awake. You wish that you're better off dead. You wish for so many things, but you cannot reach them.
What comes true?
it still feels like winter
my heart goes to slumber
never getting sober
life is great. apart from being alive, theres the sun, the clouds, the sky the stars, the moon, the green pastures, birds, animals...Nights are always peaceful, its peaceful in a way, no one is there to bother you. You can hear your fan spinning, crickets chirping, et cetera. The peace keeps you calm and prepares you for another day.
Nights are also scary. Your mind wakes up to this peace and works hard. You think, you wonder, you worry, anxiety increases and you cannot fall asleep. You wish there was more peace when you're awake. You wish that you're better off dead. You wish for so many things, but you cannot reach them.
What comes true?
Saturday, July 14, 2007
the more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you become informed. You start seeing complexities and shades of grey. You realise that nothing is as clear and simple as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cant afford to take that risk. HEH.
Im ignorant, but at least I act on it.
Im ignorant, but at least I act on it.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Thanks to Eric, Phoebe, Rachel and Cindy for accompanying me.
For the fucking account, I, SIWEI, do not give a shit about how people look at me. I live with my own principles and my own rules, so if you cannot fucking stand me, or want to show me that you're far more superior than me, go away. I have no wish to compete or prove anything. All I want is to do better for everything, for myself, that is why I try and I accept failures. If you're the kind of person who is F.A.K.E, leave me alone too, cos if you cannot be yourself, I dont see a fucking point I should want to know you and befriend you. Get what I mean?
and yeah, there are some people whom I do not like at Brewerkz, but fuck, I dont think they like me either, so why should I give a shit. I can fucking write your names here, but hey, I love peace, so try not to make me angry, really.
bottomline, dont fucking put up a show in front of me, and try to be nice, show your true self, and i'll respect you for who you are, for I dont judge people, I accept people for what they are.
For the fucking account, I, SIWEI, do not give a shit about how people look at me. I live with my own principles and my own rules, so if you cannot fucking stand me, or want to show me that you're far more superior than me, go away. I have no wish to compete or prove anything. All I want is to do better for everything, for myself, that is why I try and I accept failures. If you're the kind of person who is F.A.K.E, leave me alone too, cos if you cannot be yourself, I dont see a fucking point I should want to know you and befriend you. Get what I mean?
and yeah, there are some people whom I do not like at Brewerkz, but fuck, I dont think they like me either, so why should I give a shit. I can fucking write your names here, but hey, I love peace, so try not to make me angry, really.
bottomline, dont fucking put up a show in front of me, and try to be nice, show your true self, and i'll respect you for who you are, for I dont judge people, I accept people for what they are.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
*
dear grandma
you didnt cry
all you did was fight
i held your hands for the last time
and i didnt see you for the last time
i admire how you fought
despite the hair loss
and the loss of everything
you fought
and now you left
may you be rid of the pain
rest in peace my grandma
i'll think of you now and then
ps rest in peace grandma. The only thing im sorry about all my late grandparents, is that i never ever will have the chance again to give them back all the love they have given me.
dear grandma
you didnt cry
all you did was fight
i held your hands for the last time
and i didnt see you for the last time
i admire how you fought
despite the hair loss
and the loss of everything
you fought
and now you left
may you be rid of the pain
rest in peace my grandma
i'll think of you now and then
ps rest in peace grandma. The only thing im sorry about all my late grandparents, is that i never ever will have the chance again to give them back all the love they have given me.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Daily encounters, put into words, signifies nothing, nothing at all. Words, are just plain useless single alphabets married to further convey what you see and hear. These words practise fidelities and often have more than just one partner. They usually have different rituals, for example, "noun", pronoun", possessive pronoun", et cetera. Marrying a "I" and a "S" gives you a IS, whereby it IS always used, regardless of the context. "IS this your pen?", "IS she your steady?", "IS your mum married?", and whatever you can think of.
Communication is a powerful tool. In this society, we sell ourselves, both talent and our body. A hot young lady with 32Cs and a 24W gets a job much easier. Sterotyping? Maybe, but SEX sells! Its sad, but hey, true. Talent, on the other hand, takes effort. I cant blame you for not having a hot body, but I can blame you for not being able to sell your talent. Even if you have none, you should be able to talk me into "buying" you. We all communicate everyday, essential. Fact is, how much is absorbed into the other person's mind when you actually communicate, and how much do you want that person to absorb and understand, is a very difficult thing to achieve.
I'll say, the only word you guys absorb when you read the above paragraph, is the word SEX. My point, SEX sells, ese.
*
The wonderful, magical world of Lidenwood, where animals enjoy the ample busking under the shining rays of the sun and the never ending flow of clear, clean water. Lidenwood, where the tall green trees lushes throughout the year, protecting the young, new lives emerging. Kept in a constant state of cool, precious herbs thrives, only to be discovered.
Discovered? Or do they want to be discovered?
Mankind, the ones whose eyes light up at the sight of wealth and power, lives along the outskirts of Lidenwood. For years, the woods have been protected by environmentalists from everywhere. Saving the trees and animals from the evil plans of these mankind, whereby to rid the forest off its precious greens and the land it covers. Do these mankind know of what they do? What ever happened to shamspwood? The forest where unicorns travel a day just to get to the other end, the forest where fairies build their magic residence just to keep peace and safety within. Gone. Mankind, as they claim, loves mother nature, but yet, ironically, destroys it.
ps LIVEEARTH?, the concert held. Okay, first thing, I do appreciate musicians playing music in support of saving the Earth's ecosystem and all. Think. Message sent across by various were, "USE LESS CARS", "STOP POLLUTING THE WATERS", images shown were INDUSTRIAL WASTE, FAST FOOD. Sounds very USansA? Come on, cars, in reality, we all say: "YEAH ITS ALRIGHT TO WALK." Seriously, fuck you, who the fuck in this fast paced society wants to walk? Who the fucking hell even appreciates a sunset? Or just the clouds moving above you? Or just the way you're protected from the harmful UV rays of the sun? Hardly.
I think, the simpliest plan, ARMAGEDDON, if it exists, i wouldn't mind. Lets just, start all over again?
Communication is a powerful tool. In this society, we sell ourselves, both talent and our body. A hot young lady with 32Cs and a 24W gets a job much easier. Sterotyping? Maybe, but SEX sells! Its sad, but hey, true. Talent, on the other hand, takes effort. I cant blame you for not having a hot body, but I can blame you for not being able to sell your talent. Even if you have none, you should be able to talk me into "buying" you. We all communicate everyday, essential. Fact is, how much is absorbed into the other person's mind when you actually communicate, and how much do you want that person to absorb and understand, is a very difficult thing to achieve.
I'll say, the only word you guys absorb when you read the above paragraph, is the word SEX. My point, SEX sells, ese.
*
The wonderful, magical world of Lidenwood, where animals enjoy the ample busking under the shining rays of the sun and the never ending flow of clear, clean water. Lidenwood, where the tall green trees lushes throughout the year, protecting the young, new lives emerging. Kept in a constant state of cool, precious herbs thrives, only to be discovered.
Discovered? Or do they want to be discovered?
Mankind, the ones whose eyes light up at the sight of wealth and power, lives along the outskirts of Lidenwood. For years, the woods have been protected by environmentalists from everywhere. Saving the trees and animals from the evil plans of these mankind, whereby to rid the forest off its precious greens and the land it covers. Do these mankind know of what they do? What ever happened to shamspwood? The forest where unicorns travel a day just to get to the other end, the forest where fairies build their magic residence just to keep peace and safety within. Gone. Mankind, as they claim, loves mother nature, but yet, ironically, destroys it.
ps LIVEEARTH?, the concert held. Okay, first thing, I do appreciate musicians playing music in support of saving the Earth's ecosystem and all. Think. Message sent across by various were, "USE LESS CARS", "STOP POLLUTING THE WATERS", images shown were INDUSTRIAL WASTE, FAST FOOD. Sounds very USansA? Come on, cars, in reality, we all say: "YEAH ITS ALRIGHT TO WALK." Seriously, fuck you, who the fuck in this fast paced society wants to walk? Who the fucking hell even appreciates a sunset? Or just the clouds moving above you? Or just the way you're protected from the harmful UV rays of the sun? Hardly.
I think, the simpliest plan, ARMAGEDDON, if it exists, i wouldn't mind. Lets just, start all over again?
Monday, July 9, 2007
*
Maybe you don't understand it,
what keeps them awake at night
What goes through their little minds
when you turn off the light?
Always having to say sorry
tears are stained on the pillow
Like the light of the moon
they can't be one
Can't exist without the sun
Let's think clearly for a while
Can he shine without a smile?
Why am I alone with no one to be found?
Looks like they know what's best for me
Why doesn't anybody like me, I don't understand?
Guess I'll have to crawl inside and
I don't know why I'm sitting by myself,
when the problem isn't mine
Been around the block a few times,
been beat up by all his friends
Learing life is like a maze that never seems to end
Like an open book, blank pages left for only him to write
Life is short
this chapter takes so long
Can't tell the right from the wrong
It's so hard for you to place
An expression on his face
Why am I alone with no one to be found?
Looks like they know what's best for me
Why doesn't anybody like me, I don't understand?
Guess I'll have to crawl inside and
I don't know why I'm sitting by myself,
when the problem isn't mine
Why doesn't anybody like me, I don't understand
Why my friends and family left me
At six years old he won't be taught a meaning to this mess
He'll just have to take a guess,
and make his own plan
And we'll never see the child that was forced to be a man
Maybe you don't understand it,
what keeps them awake at night
What goes through their little minds
when you turn off the light?
Always having to say sorry
tears are stained on the pillow
Like the light of the moon
they can't be one
Can't exist without the sun
Let's think clearly for a while
Can he shine without a smile?
Why am I alone with no one to be found?
Looks like they know what's best for me
Why doesn't anybody like me, I don't understand?
Guess I'll have to crawl inside and
I don't know why I'm sitting by myself,
when the problem isn't mine
Been around the block a few times,
been beat up by all his friends
Learing life is like a maze that never seems to end
Like an open book, blank pages left for only him to write
Life is short
this chapter takes so long
Can't tell the right from the wrong
It's so hard for you to place
An expression on his face
Why am I alone with no one to be found?
Looks like they know what's best for me
Why doesn't anybody like me, I don't understand?
Guess I'll have to crawl inside and
I don't know why I'm sitting by myself,
when the problem isn't mine
Why doesn't anybody like me, I don't understand
Why my friends and family left me
At six years old he won't be taught a meaning to this mess
He'll just have to take a guess,
and make his own plan
And we'll never see the child that was forced to be a man
Sunday, July 8, 2007
okay this is what happens, i always drink at home before i go out, and its always barcadi rum or 151, neat. So Im always on the high side, and so if i drink more, i get wasted, and thats the whole point. Okay and i dont give a shit about getting drunk, although people around me will have a problem with me, im still learning how to be drunk and sober at the same time, so i'll drink more. Like last night, i went out, my parents were not home till like 830pm, so i drank again, actually they are quite dumb cos i already finished 2 bottles of their spirits before and they still leave the new bottles in the cupboard, HAHA, good for me though. So i drank half a new bottle, and so im happy and high, then i went to yck, then i went to boat quay, drank 3 pints of beer in quick successions, then, over to magaritas, 2 in quick successions, then, 2 corona in quick successions, then i think i took barons, and then i puked, then i got drunk and ugly.
ps I'll drink till i turn blue and live another day
ps I'll drink till i turn blue and live another day
Saturday, July 7, 2007
*
I cant dream anymore, since you left
i miss you singing me to sleep
i cant wake anymore, in your arms
I miss you singing me to sleep
cheer up my friends all say.
ps doing nothing is the new trend! so is being a nerdtarty. The popup called partypoker.com just popped up on my screen and i hate it so im gonna close it. Its gone. Im tired but i cant fall asleep and its another stuffy night so im gonna go fetch myself a glass of ice filled water to cool myself down, and so i did. Im hardcore so what, like phoebe's sister's fiance said in FRIENDS: "I guess im just impulsive to be romantic.", i guess i am, but i usually do it with the wrong people. I feel that my life is in a mess now but im not really sure if it is. I still feel happy at times but not really happy but i know im still happy at times. Im an actor! Im really trying very hard to be very serious but i just cant cos its not me, im serious with certain things but most people think that those things are just not important but its important to me. Why cant we just make love and not war? i should go to bed.
I cant dream anymore, since you left
i miss you singing me to sleep
i cant wake anymore, in your arms
I miss you singing me to sleep
cheer up my friends all say.
ps doing nothing is the new trend! so is being a nerdtarty. The popup called partypoker.com just popped up on my screen and i hate it so im gonna close it. Its gone. Im tired but i cant fall asleep and its another stuffy night so im gonna go fetch myself a glass of ice filled water to cool myself down, and so i did. Im hardcore so what, like phoebe's sister's fiance said in FRIENDS: "I guess im just impulsive to be romantic.", i guess i am, but i usually do it with the wrong people. I feel that my life is in a mess now but im not really sure if it is. I still feel happy at times but not really happy but i know im still happy at times. Im an actor! Im really trying very hard to be very serious but i just cant cos its not me, im serious with certain things but most people think that those things are just not important but its important to me. Why cant we just make love and not war? i should go to bed.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
*
I've been trying to reach you
but my extension cord wouldnt reach that far
ps waiting waiting waiting we spend most of our lives waiting, time is ticking, theres no stopping, sing a song of heart breaking tune and make yourself cry, for all we know, is all we still do not. Memories are dead, but still tattoed on your brain, always there. 20 years of this life doesnt seem to mean anything, look back and sigh and sigh another one. Sit on your bedroom floor and wonder, the greater plans of life. you look back and sigh yet another...
I've been trying to reach you
but my extension cord wouldnt reach that far
ps waiting waiting waiting we spend most of our lives waiting, time is ticking, theres no stopping, sing a song of heart breaking tune and make yourself cry, for all we know, is all we still do not. Memories are dead, but still tattoed on your brain, always there. 20 years of this life doesnt seem to mean anything, look back and sigh and sigh another one. Sit on your bedroom floor and wonder, the greater plans of life. you look back and sigh yet another...
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