*
I made a magic wand today
maybe i'll wish myself away
next to the ocean where birds sing
these are a few of my favourite things

ps AMY REID is the TIU.

*
its words you'll never say
the ones that i really hope i wont hear
that last goodbye i heard
was your lowest of tolerance, suddenly
empty house echos the wails of this never anymore

forgot what we fought for, hard as i might
dont have the will to fight
hang ups and non replies never reciprocated
the feelings i had for

*Im already a few days overdue
like postage posted wrongly
the mail and receiver will never meet
and there was no address to "return to if posted wrongly."

are you getting better
any better from any matter
the last words still doesnt convey anything
and you'll never taste this
"i miss you"

What do you like about music?







to begin with...everything.

" just when i opened up my heart"
"the one you used to love came and ripped it right apart"

am i fucking right?

so eventually girls grow up to be prettier than how they were and guys, whom the girl used to like but they didnt like them last time since they were ugly, came back to grab this opportunity since the girl is prettier(and they're lonely)than last time hoping for a chance to be with them since they're prettier and in addition, the girl used to like them so, why not? wooing is easier, everything is easier.

girls are dumb. lying through your teeth is easy but never, never try to lie to someone whos vast experience exceeds what you think of him. i see things through fucking easssssssy. ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED.

im too fucking honest, really, but fuck you, i hate liars, esp girl liars who lie for guys to guys wooing them when you girls say "hes just my friend la". hey, you aint come i aint gonna die, but if you want to kill me, load you gun with bullets and hit me with the god awful truth. stop pretending you'll never fall in love, fuck that, we're all looking for love, and you know it. ah, and its always EASY to woo someone who likes you, guys aint dumb you see.

i enjoyed my tequila shots combo today, esp the one called "marsbars", but 7 is way too little to kill me. make it 21 the next time fellas.

i'll say, in multiples of 7, till i bend over and puke, now thats love.

idiotic koreans said i looked like one today, at least the comment came from a 'well endowed' girl, then followed by her friends. They didnt believe i was singaporean, so is that a good thing or a bad thing? This korean girl told me her name, some 'ann jink' name i dont really know how to spelll it out, shook my hand and asked me to go korea with her. Well miss, i would have agreed if i dont really have memories here in singapore, so thank you.

why must my deployment always be at the 7000s. Its never fun working that area on a friday and i worked mr.superman shift today from 12pm to 130am. HEH.

saw a girl that looked like her and the other one that looked like you. Was thinking if it was really any of you walking past me, i hope its not.

wow. another saturday to burn at work. 6pm till 130am. Just dont let it be 7000s again. I'll appreciate it a whole lot.

i wish i could really fake a smile, at least a more real one.

sorry for the shitty morning I gave you, and fuck the previous post, thats fucking all.

*
Broken heart again today
the flowers that i gave to you have withered all away
just when i opened up my heart
the one you used to love
came and ripped it right apart
why do i never seem to learn that
love is wrong
and girls are fucking evil
i guess i'll never figure out
what womenkind is all about
i heard your voice again today
im scarred by all the lies
that were once promises youd made
i lie in bed awake at night
and wonder what went wrong
or even more just what went right
why do i never seem to learn that
love is wrong
and girls are fucking evil
i guess i'll never figure out
what womenkind is all about

love is wrong.

I miss you. I saw you leave just now, but I didnt call out your name. I think of you now and then and then and now and now you're still on my mind. I want to see you. I want to message you and tell you I miss you but I always do the opposite nowadays. I do not want anything I do to be obvious anymore but its always the opposite. The opposite, I like you but you do not. Im upside down.

*
Its words you forget
to annivasary songs
the bottles bite back
your tolerance wrong
your good intentions count for little more
if you're sorry
why wage war?
im not fully convinced
theres something wrong with this
could another point of view
be biased and untrue?
tear me away from you
will you be my valentine
if im a world away
apologies
are breaking me
constants arent so constant anymore
two days i wait for
calls to come through
tonight for me translate
to yesterday to you
bend and you wave
you're barely away
i wish i could say tonight
when you bend and wave goodbye
youd take me with you
will you be my valentine
if im a world away
apologies
are breaking me
constants arent so constant anymore

will you be my valentine?

Sometimes, its better to give up than persevere, because there will either be no outcome or the outcome sucks. SO, I'll say, fuck it, and guys shouldn't blog about emotions. On the other hand, its ironic how I can give up on math and not girl(s). This life is ironic indeed, but fuck, I'll turn 'ironic' to my favour.

Giving up is actually a way of saying "I win.", but what's there to gain? While failure, makes more sense, since we always want to gain something, in this case, lessons. IRONIC. hahaaa.

So, failure is better.

*
I can't stay over you
it seems we drive forever
and can never get away from here
well just one more try
i'm guessing you are over me
i guess its bravery
cos its black out the window
and you sleep in the passenger seat
so when its always on your mind
but you never speak of the name
its in your blood
and your face
i'm certain its fame
so i'll stay out in the car cos the weather
has gotten to me
but its really these roadsigns and freeways
that i cant take
this cant be how you live
its like a
ball and chain round your waist
or a simple state
your minds sick again
im tasting nothing before the words
"please dont leave me."
and its dark in the winter
so your ideas start to sleep
well your head is spinning like that carousel
and i know you're a mess after a three or four
but if you make it different
we'll make our way to the surface
and your favourite place
where we sit and breathe
cause i
know all the words and i sing you everything
they're just thoughts
so go ahead and speak

so pick out what you like.

Its irritating how much you want to know something for sure, although you know that the answer is something that you won't want to hear. These days...

*
Posessions never meant anything to me
im not crazy
well that's not true, I've got a bed and a guitar
and a dog named dog who pisses on my floor
that's right I got a floor
so what, so what, so what?
I've got pockets full of kleenex and lint and holes
where everything important to me
just seem to fall right down my leg
and on to the floor
my closest friend linoleum, linoleum.
supports my head
give me something to believe
Thats me, on the beach side combing the sand
metal meter in my hand
sporting a pocket full of change
thats me on the street with the violin under my chin
playing with a grin
singing gibberish
thats me on the back of the bus
thats me in the cell
thats me inside your head

thats me inside your head.

Its another tired week, and will be another the next. Its okay, since I enjoy my work, somehow.

"The only way its right is to fake everythings' okay, is to make everything okay.", the former sounds better.

Simple pleasures are easy. As ironic, we're all not simple, thus, simple pleasures are difficult. The simpliest things we do that actually make ourselves feel happy, allowing us to release that little smile, so simple, yet so difficult.

"Break it off or let's get together.", true, but rather, why glue it when you want to destroy it in the end?

What's the best day of your life?

*
No more waiting on them
as you rise inside new rooms
It's official you've gone
and you can live for noone else
man the guilt must be huge
As there's no gain in failure
you suceed at being mine
yeah old friend, see you there
I will be proud from afar
I can paint a picture
in a moment of memories
and there aren't many left
I am extradited, uninvited
Its just another Saturday
take a step to freedom
you and her loathing this cruel world
take a breath of shelter
and exhale trust and allegience
liberate yourself from hell

Its just another Saturday.

henceforth

I'm thankful that I have broken up with Sophia. Much has been learnt from the incident and now, thinking back, it all seemed like I was the one who didn't actually grow up at that point in time. This is heartfelt, not sour grapes.

The process of growing up, the process of crash and experiencing different kinds of things that you least expect it, makes you a much stronger and sensible person. Bullshit, yes, but unless you went through that period of hell, you'll never know what I mean.

Ever since that incident, I've realised friends play a very important role in our lives and without them, this life is just meaningless. The ones who will eventually be there, apart from your parents, are your friends. I was blinded, well I was, by love, lust, whatever you call it. There was never balance between my lover and my friends, it was always the lover dominating, and I got further away from my friends.

Days passed like years then as I was trying to get myself back. During then, I made new friends, I lost some friends. I was expecting a change in myself again, another major change, some friends just could't take it and left. Its sad but I guess you can't expect everyone to accept any kind of change in you all of a sudden, so, you gain some, you lose some. The funny thing is, I feel that they do not actually know what I was feeling back then. The feeling of Losing someone that was once so important to you. Its hard to convey this form of rage as well as pain.

I also feel there is not much point making too many friends, I'll leave that to another time.

At this point of time, what I'm feeling is blue. This colour never changes, and I'm so used to taking blames I just take them, its so easy. It makes everyone happy as well. Its hard to defeat one's purpose of blaming you for something when they just want to escape from it. Is it so difficult to just take blame? Try it for once will you?

I'd rather make everyone happy than be happy myself.

fckufcae

Im going to quit smoking for good, and I mean it.

IRRITATING.

DOuche

Im already very honest. I mean Im too honest with you. I admit everything and all, tell you the reasons why. They say honesty is the best policy, yeah..the best..........

ARGH!

I could be brown!
I could be blue!
I could be violet sky!
I could be hurtful!
I could be purple!
I could be anything you like!
Gotta be green!
Gotta be mean!
Gotta be everything more!

Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

FIGHT

OOH. I cant wait for Transformers. 7.4.7

Autobots vs. Decepticons. =D

summerwinds; dessertstars; 2words; we'll be on our way

These words were never spoken to be undone
Time was consumed by every second which meant nothing
Every 5 I took I think of you
and I'd rather be stranded alone.

Its like I just lost a best friend
Someone who never would mean anything
Turns out into someone who grabs me by the heart,
Unknowingly.

As I write this note,
of a car passing by looking for lots
in any empty carpark,
just not knowing where to go

Its like I just lost a best friend
Someone who never would mean anything
Turns out into someone who grabs me by the heart,
unknowingly.

I see you so much clearer than you see me.
Ask me why the sun rises in the east
and why does my heart set for you
never in the east but within you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I still hope for nothing, but it just feels so bad to know Im not calling you or sending you messages just cause I do not want to trouble you from my own emotions. I just want to stand beside you again and get close to your sweetside, but my head thinks otherwise. Just like you, I hate to impose, you'll just never know how difficult it is to do what Im doing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

All that I have, 26 dollars and the keys to a cadilac.

I miss you la.

=)

Nevermind, things are hard at times.

June4thmiddaysun

I don't really care what happens next. School mailed me some "failure to attend school" kind of mail. I got into shit with my mum again. FUCK I hated this morning, scolding at 6am, 8am and 2pm. I wonder HOW she ever thought of such shitty methods to screw herself and me up.

FUCK. Im not a childish piece of shit, alright. Im just being myself, and if theres anyone who cant take it, just tell me or keep it to yourselves.

FUCK. This is all like repetitive, and it goes on and on. Until the day you die or whatsoever. Getting reprimanded just makes you feel so fucked when you know you have been trying to do well and all. Seriously, just give me $1000 a month, pay my phone bills and internet bills, I'll just stop doing my part time and study real hard for this fucked up repeated semester. You think working on weekends is enough to keep me alive? NO. I work on weekends, plus weekdays. The days that I actually play and you complain is when some fucking letter comes dropping in. Fuck the school. Im a mess? Yeah, you got it right. I am a mess, but when will you fucking grown ups realise theres more to life than what you all have been telling me? Why do all of you seem to learn so much but in the end, words that come out from your speak holes are all shit and common sense? STUDY? STUDY. When will you all EVER admit your own mistakes and say you have said something wrong?! Im messed up, right, I am.

And seriously, liking someone is bullshit.

I am someone who can't make a girl happy. A girl can only be mine if she is willing to withstand all my nonsense. I am too demanding, I am impatient, I am selfish, but I don't really give a fuck.

This afternoon, I felt like shit again. Although I told myself never to feel like shit over another girl again, I did on quite a few occasions. Like earlier this afternoon, when I was still sleeping, I had to msg this girl and feel like shit on the bed when all she could say was "sorry". I do not need the sorries you give. I know you don't like me or whatever, but you're being too nice to me, and I do not get any wrong ideas, I still know you wont like me.

You're the girl whom I woo-ed the longest, and I'll never do it again on another.

Hitler, the dictator, massive killing of jews and..

Its epic, the worst has yet to come, and it is going to be EPIC.


-play some music and i'll add some beats.