left behind

I retained.

What is so bad about it really, except for maybe the fact that i'll be bugged by parental problems again. Its unfair cos Im the only one who retained. The worse thing is, its BTN, taught by chang yoon ching. I dont even want to strain my fingers to CAPS his name, he is just such a waste of space living around still. Hell has a better meaning for him, maybe as a soul collector or some apparition that drains life. Student's life. He can also be his usual self, a cheeeeko, but a dead one.

Dumb. Nothing feels good, but its like as if anything felt good before. I forgot the feeling of feeling good, or rather the feeling of good feeling. I forgot what real happiness felt like, i forgot how to laugh, i forgot everything. I only remembered this wretched thing called pain. This feeling feels much more real than the others. At least, of the basic five senses we have, i can use them to experience pain more than happiness. Happiness is nothing anyways.

Then whats something? More pain? I dont know.